Family Acceptance

Assalamualaikum, may peace be upon you all.

Syukur Alhamdulilah, during the past Christmas holiday, my family came over to visit me. I was very thankful for being able to bring my paternal grandma (70+ year old) and my maternal grandma (80+ year old) to go jalan-jalan and makan-makan. 

Lunch at Chinese Muslim Restaurant

Lunch at Atmosphere 360, KL Tower

Throughout my 9 months reversion, my family are my strength. I could not thank Allah enough for giving me a very open-minded family who loved me and respected me in any choice I have made. They are the one who always stood up for me. 

To be honest, I could not say that they accepted it straight away on that very moment I revert because even I myself needed time to adapt into the "new life". It is very common to have some issues. However it did not take long for the izzy bitsy conflicts to go away, LOVE is the key. We tried to work our way out to get tolerance and moderation from both sides. 

A lot of people has misunderstanding towards Islam understanding especially from bad examples shown by a small numbers of Muslim and the bias medias. Yes indeed there are a lot of Islam's rules that might sounds very strict and intolerable but Allah is the most merciful and forgiving. I am not the perfect Muslim/Muslimah and no one is perfect or except for the Prophets. Based on my understanding, rules are for guidance, a reference for us in what we can do and forbid us from doing things that is harmful. 

This is a very judgmental society, especially with the social media and media games, things can go very wrong and viral even it was not meant to be that way. I am just sharing my experience as a mualaf and hopefully the Muslim readers do not get too judgmental and hopefully it will be something useful to clear the misunderstand for my non-muslim friends and family. 

During the first few months after I revert, it was difficult for me and my family in adjusting ouselves psychologically and adapting with the change. I have dilemmas regarding what I can do following the Islam rules and not making my family uneasy at the same time. Yes I was so scared that I might do anything wrong that the Muslim society might judge me or criticize me for that. Luckily that I have Muslim friends and family that are very supportive and shown me how to make the situation tolerable.  

Conflicts that I faced:

1. My mom cried a lot because she thinks that I might not be her daughter anymore (Very common misconception). She thought that we can't live together, eat together and etc. which was VERY NOT TRUE! 

[Solution: I go home more often, she cooked me HALAL food (She actually went to Malay stall or supermarket to buy chicken to make sure it is HALAL) and she even cook beef for the very first time.]

2. My dad was not happy with the idea of changing names (normally mualaf will adapt a new Muslim name with bin/binti Abdullah) because he said that his name is not Abdullah. (Another misconception)

[Solution: It is not necessary to have a Muslim name. My Muslim name is Nur Jasliwati (just for the Islamic card documentation purpose) but I still use my birth name for my IDs. ]

3. People calling me "Malay".. It was a hard time for me and also my mom to get used to. Awkward situation happened such as my mom's friend mistaken me as her worker..

[Solution: It is a very silly stereotype thing where people think wearing hijab equals to Malay. In this case you can just smile and redha. Sometimes I actually enjoy speaking Mandarin on purpose to make people shocked... "Malay can speak Chinese.." -.- *poker face*] 

If my family could respect my faith and had given me freedom to practice the faith that I believe in, why can't I tolerate for them. Communication is very important but most important of all, we learnt to respect each other. I was born and raised in that environment and after I revert does not means that I can confront them and force them to agree with my believing, that just not make sense. Dakwah needs time and showing the right akhlak of a Muslim is the best way.

Family Forever <3 May Allah bless us all and show us to the right path.

Assalamualaikum!